Joy? Really?

"Yeah, right."

Consider this a confession of my not-so-godly response earlier tonight to very God-ordained words:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds . . . James 1:2

I'm not trying to be disrespectful of God's word, just honest in my struggle. His words are difficult to internalize sometimes. Always truthful, always right, always needed. But still hard.

Anyone else been there?

Recently

Lessons recently learned around here:

-Chipmunks cannot swim

-Leftover peas from dinner + Mommy's empty drink cup + bathwater = "pea soup" from an enthusiastic pint-size chef

-Forgetting to clean out the cooler after a zoo trip is a bad idea

-Fruit flies are indestructible (see previous statement)

-911 still works from a disconnected phone line

[You just can't make this stuff up . . .]

In Case You Were Wondering

It dawned on me the other day that it's been a long time since I explained the title of this blog, Seeking the Morning.

When I started this blog I was walking through some dark valleys. We had miscarried some months before but I was still very much grieving. And in my ongoing battle, depression and anxiety were rearing their ugly heads more often and more ferociously. (Hmmm. That's hard to say but true.)

My night felt unending and I was literally seeking a spiritual morning. Even the smallest ray of light would seem significant in the dark. I think most specifically I was hoping for another child - that most tangibly represented an end to the night in my heart.

Thankfully, the Lord was gracious and did bless us with another beautiful daughter. But even as we discovered we were expecting I was beginning to realize my journey toward the "morning" was not over. It was taking on a new meaning - something not to be attained in a single event, but rather something to always strive after.

Psalm 143:8 says

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

I need word of the Lord's unfailing love constantly. The lies of the enemy are too deceiving, the society around us too confusing, my own heart too faltering.

If the morning is bringing word of this unfailing love, this truth in the midst of so much untruth, than that is what I want to be running after. Always.

So . . .

Seeking the Morning = Constantly desiring to hear and see the truth of God's unfailing love no matter the circumstance.

Just in case you were wondering. :-)

Pssst . . .

[Shhhhh. I don't think I'm supposed to be here today. I think I'm supposed to be taking the day off after my big 100 post marathon. But I can't stay away. Don't tell anyone, okay? Thanks. . .]

100: I Made It!!!

Can a get a WOO-HOO???!!!!

:-)

I cannot believe this is post 100 of my challenge!!! I woke up this morning, realized I would be reaching my goal today and got the biggest grin on my face. What a great feeling!

While I learned quite a few things through this (not so) little process, the number one thing that comes to mind is this:

I had it backwards.

Before this, I would wait for the "big" idea and then write. The last 100 days forced me to reverse course and write whether or not I had an idea. (Sometimes this was pretty evident, as in the "blah, blah, blah" post . . .)

Please forgive me for saying this, as it sounds rather self-absorbed, but I feel like I learned I was stronger than I thought I was. More committed. More enduring. I realized that sounds a bit dramatic as I'm talking about writing a blog, not running a marathon. But in essence that's what it felt like to me. Carving out time every single day whether I felt like it, whether I really had time. Learning to be still and listen. Even if it meant plugging my ears to the literal noise all around me. (Mental note: Next house must have office. With soundproof doors. And walls. And a large supply of chocolate . . .)

Anyway, I do appreciate all the positive comments whether left in the comments here, in my email or in person. Thanks for taking a few minutes to read this little bloggy every now and then and for offering encouragement.

Sheesh. This is starting to sound like an Oscar acceptance speech . . .

Anyway.

I really have enjoyed writing daily and hope to keep it up (well, mostly every day) so I hope you stick around, too.

Now. I'm off to find some form of chocolate to celebrate. Feel free to eat some and celebrate with me! :-)

99: Thankful

On this July 4th I am so thankful that the loud booms outside and lit up sky are due to fireworks and not bombs as in many places tonight.

I am grateful that the people congregating in the street this morning were there to cheer on a parade and not part of an angry protest.

What a blessing to live in a free nation. We get so used to saying that but when I ponder what the alternative is, my heart rejoices at the great privilege we have to live in this country.

Take a minute and truly thank the Lord tonight for your freedom . . . we are living lives with opportunities that others only dream about. Use them well . . .

98: Blah, Blah, Blah . . .

Blah, blah, blah, sick, blah, blah. Blah!

Blah.

Blah, tired, blah, blah . . .blah.

Blah, blah, writer's block, blah, blah - blah, blah, blah.

Blah? Blah.